Which brought my thoughts to her birth. I was married at 21, and for as long as I can remember I had wanted to be a mother. I had taken care of my siblings since I was 7 years old. My brother born when I was 5, another brother at 7 and my sister when I was 10. Although we had servants for each child it was deemed that I was to oversee the children and their nannies. One would think with that experience that I would refrain from having children but I longed for my own. So, needless to say I was quite sure that within 9 months of getting married I would be holding a baby in my arms.
The Universe had other ideas. It took me 9 long years before I got pregnant. With much heartache and longing, disappointments and tears during this time. 9 years is a long time to wait for anything but I knew in my heart I was supposed to be a mother. And then all of a sudden I was pregnant, and with all the dramas of one who has yearned for a baby I had them all. But then my most gorgeous gift from the Universe was born.
I relished the time I was pregnant, in awe of what was going on within my body. And I had cravings for chocolate ! And most of all cravings for Chocolate frosted donuts from Dunkin Donuts ! I used to devour a dozen at a time ! I put on so much weight but it was akin to being addicted. I would shake until I ate it !
Kryssy was born by C Section. Luckily it was so. I was not so much into 'must have a natural birth' and by the time the doctor suggested surgery, I really didn't care how they got her out. She was 11 lbs 4 oz !!! Luckily, I had surgery. She was a gorgeous baby and so easy to take care of.
She grew upto be a caring and loving human being. She learnt a lot of things the hard way through me, with me being a single mother and then having relationships that broke down etc. But she has come out of that understanding that everything doesn't go right all of the time in life and how to pick yourself up and push through the hard times to come out the other end. She is a beautiful human being and I am in awe when I look at her, listen to her speak and everything about her. That I could have given birth to this special lady.
So, now, she is married and they are on their honeymoon in Bali. She arranged the wedding all by herself with little input by me and it was even harder because I live in another state from her. She is so organised that there was nothing at all in the day that I could have said 'we should have done this differently'. Everything ran like clockwork and so smoothly.
Need I say that she looked breathtaking ? That Michael is a very lucky young man to have such a loving, loyal and gorgeous lady by his side for the rest of his life.
I still can't get back to the swing of things since coming home from the wedding. I had a glorious one week with her before she got married. And loved being part of the last minute preparations. But such an anti-climax coming home. To the quiet, the no family, the no hustle bustle, the no friends... Don't get me wrong, it is peaceful, it is breathtaking here and this is the place that my husband is the most comfortable, but I still miss everything that I have left behind. It seems more so on my return this time. I can't seem to shake the depression, the sadness....
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