Heartache

 Charles De Gaulle

I love my roses.  I pour over books every opportunity I get to see how I can grow more, what sort to buy, what colours, what plants to plant alongside them. Which is the best way to display a particular type of rose.

Since moving to Tasmania, my love for roses have grown. I also have the beautiful weather here to help with the roses.  Back in Brisbane the humidity and the hot weather is not really conducive to growing roses.  It can be done, but there is a lot of effort required and they are susceptible to disease because of the humidity and heat.

Since being here, I have planted a few roses and look forward to growing more... except.... today!

It has been very hot here the last week or so.  Not according to the temperature. Maximum of 26 degrees Celsius is really not that hot. But today, it was lovely, a little breeze and showers.  A welcome respite I thought.  I will clean up my closet.  I was successful. The closet looks neat and tidy.  I also got rid of a whole bag of clothes.

BUT, I came out of the closet at noon, the rain was pouring down and the winds were howling at about 30km an hour.  No great shakes I thought, until I looked out of the study window to find my most favourite rose 'Charles De Gaulle' had broken a branch and was lying on the grass!

I was devastated to say the least.  I had been watching dear Charles for the last few days and it had burst forth with several buds and now this!

I waited till the rain eased and went out with my secateurs and sadly cut off the branch that had been ripped off the tree and brought it in.  I counted the buds 16 !!! all on this branch that fell.  What an absolute shame.  It has saddened me.

The fallen branch

So many buds

Onions

I grew some onions in the vegetable patch.  I bought a punnet of seedlings and there seemed to be like 100s of seedlings in the punnet.  I actually got tired of planting them and with such little wispy plants couldn't see the need to plant it as far as I was instructed. However, I kinda followed the instructions - note I said 'kinda' and planted as many as my poor aching back allowed me to.

I was exited to see them grown really well though, even though the frost had a go at it as well they still soldiered on. I harvested the onions about 10 days ago.  I put them to dry and today I braided the strands so I can hang it up in my larder.

I thought it was going to be easy. Victor said to me, 'do you think you will be alright'? I scoffed.  Of course I will be alright ! I have always had long hair, always braided my hair, how hard can it be ? Wrong !

I did braid it, but I know I should have at least googled it, you tubed it, something at least because I am sure there must be another way.  The garlic and onion you see in the markets are all so neat.  Victor very politely said I will get better as I go along. Such a nice man !

Here is my effort for you to comment !

Weather

Originally coming from Sri Lanka and having lived in Brisbane for the last 16 years one would think I am used to hot weather.  Incorrect !

Currently, the weather here in Tasmania is roughly an average of about 26 degrees Celsius.  But it is a very dry heat.  And this heat actually 'burns' you. 

I find it drains me, and it really and truly is like a burn.  Apparently, it is because the weather is much cleaner here and therefore, the heat is 'different' to what you get in Brisbane.  26 degrees in Brisbane is pleasant. But it does get humid there and uncomfortably so.


One the reasons Victor said he wanted to move to Tasmania was for the weather. When it was cold I was so cold I yearned for Brisbane's mild Winters.  And looked forward in anticipation for the summer.  The summer is here alright with a vengeance.  But I am not sure whether I prefer it to the Winter now !

There is never pleasing some people is there ?

My mentor and my inspiration

Today is my dad's birthday.  He has been gone now for over 26 years.  But I remember every single lesson he taught me and still draw on his teachings and his thirst to do well, his social demeanour and his ability to make friends with anyone in any walk of life.  His generosity to others less well off than him and his music style.

He was a vibrant man that never said he can't do something.  He was an entrepreneur and a definitely a man ahead of his time. He came from a background that was not at all well to do by Sri Lankan standards.  The family had a lot of properties but they were not considered wealthy.  I think he might have passed his grade 10 exams but didn't go further.

However, he was 'accepted' by my maternal grandfather to marry my mother because he came from a 'good sinhalese background  and he was a Buddhist'.  My maternal grandparents were a well off family and didn't have to do without.

After my parents got married they lived with my maternal grandparents, my dad was working in an advertising firm, and before I was two, decided that he needed to pursue further studies and set off to England.  My mother and I followed him by ship.  My very first recollection as a child is arriving in London and not knowing my father when he came on board the ship to pick us up. I refused to talk to him.

I don't think I was much older when he taught me the first lesson that I remember.  We were renting a flat  in a house, the landlady who was Italian who was also my babysitter had instructed me that IF my parents ever asked me to do any chores I was to come down to her and she will come and do it for me.  So, my dad asked me to do something, and I ran down the stairs and called on my ali.  Duly she came up and asked what she can do for my dad.  My dad was a man of few words when he was angry.  He thanked her and once she left he walked without a word to the broom closet.  In there was an 'Ekle broom' that my mother had brought from Sri Lanka. Not really sure why, but we had one. Looked similar to the picture below.

They are made out of the ekel that comes from in between the leaves of the coconut tree.

The palm or branch has many leaves on either side of it as you see.  In between there is a fine hard stem.  In many Asian countries they use this stick or Ekel to make brooms, similar to the one above and also another to use outdoors on the sand. We had one that looked similar to the picture above.

He very quietly took 2 Ekels from the broom and very very slowly wrapped a thread around it to keep it together.  All this without one word to either my mother or I.  I really thought I had got away with the episode, until he called me.

He told me, that I must NEVER EVER tell anyone our business and I MUST NEVER EVER tell anyone else's business to another. He asked me to put my hand out. It was my right hand that I put out, and he smacked it twice.  It wasn't hard, but I was really upset because he had gotten angry with me. I went to bed crying. But the impact on the couple of minutes was life long.  I never ever discuss our family business outside, and I never ever discuss anyone else's business.

I have taught my children this lesson.  Not quite in the same way as my dad did.  But I believe they too have learnt that lesson.

Success

Well I had a go at the Apricot Jam today.  I was successful and also learnt a few things.

Yesterday, I cut up all the fruit and layered it with sugar and put it aside overnight.  This morning after our walk I decided to make the jam.  Following instructions given to me, I added water and orange juice to the Apricots and added more sugar.  I had to put the Apricots in a big baking dish so that it would fit. Funnily I didn't have a pot that would accommodate all the Apricots !

It had to come to the boil and then cook at that temperature for 20 minutes. First lesson, never leave the pot when you are making jam.  It boiled and overflowed all this sugary syrup all over my stove, over the stove and onto the floor.  Everything was sticky! 

I reduced the heat and then stood over the stove until it was time to put the jamsetta.  The jam didn't seem to be setting. On reading the instructions they advise you not to cook more than 1.5kg of jam at  a time. That was my second lesson. I was cooking 5kg. Not having made Apricot jam before, I really should have listened to the experts.  I added another packet of jamsetta, and cooked some more. It 'seemed' to be setting, after 3 different 'setting' tests. So,  I gave it another 10 minutes off the heat and bottled them. 

Victor said it taste 'good'. I think it tastes too sweet but nice, especially since there are chunky bits of Apricots in there as well.

The bottles are various shapes and sizes.  We have a store called 'Chickenfeed' over here, which is much like Crazy Clarkes in Queensland and the Dollar Stores in the States.  They were selling gorgeous bottles for Jam and they were $7 for 14 bottles.  But of course I didn't buy them.  I went to buy some yesterday and they were all out ! There is another lesson.Always buy stuff like that when you see it and not have after thoughts about it a week later.  Too late.

All bottled and store for the winter ! :-)  Success indeed !

Temptations

A few days ago I was talking about feeling remorse for not having bought Apricots at the market.  We have a lovely organic green grocer in the town centre and he had some lovely Apricots to make jam. I spotted them on our walk this morning and asked him to hold it for me.  I couldn't see myself or Victor lugging 5kg of Apricots on our 5km walk!

I picked them up later in the day and found the green grocer's wife at the back of the counter this time.  And mentioned to her that I was making Apricot jam for the first time.  She was instantly alert and helpful.  She gave me her grandmother's recipe and all the hints that go with it. What a lovely surprise.

Armed with my new found knowledge I ventured to the supermarket to buy 'Jam setting sugar'.  Forgot! This is a little country town and they don't 'need' jam setting sugar. The ladies here use 'normal' sugar and pectin ! Baha !  BUT, the helpful lady in the supermarket suggested 'jam setter'.  Never heard of it, but I bought some anyway.

My friendly neighbour dropped by today armed with heaps of plants and cuttings for me from her garden.  Such a lovely generous soul. She ran back to her house and returned with 3 recipes to make Apricot jam and instructed me to use the whole packet of 'jam setter'. 

I have prepared my Apricots. Tomorrow you will know better.....

Diets can only be started on Mondays !

Well, thats what I am saying and I am sticking to it.  I am so tired to have to constantly and I mean constantly watch every morsel that I put in my mouth !

In the course of the last 18 months I have lost a total of 30kg. Nice. BUT, as I said I have to watch every single morsel, if I don't, it shows instantly and I mean instantly on the scales !  Just before Christmas I was down to where I wanted to be but knew without a doubt with visitors and Christmas there was no hope.  So, from the 23rd December to 3 January I put on 4kg. How do you do that ??? So, I started my diet yet again trying to lose these 4kgs that I put on without too much effort - well you know what I mean...... it took me till the 16th January to lose 3kg.  Then Victor went camping. So the 'normal' person would have persisted but no that was too easy for me, I had to go on an eating spree because I could. It is not that Victor even tells me I am fat, or bothers with what I eat.

I had pizza one day, had a toasted sandwich and an iced coffee when I went shopping one day, had some cereal for breakfast one day and bagels another and some BBQ chicken on a roll with coleslaw another day. That was all of 2 days. I put on 2 kg !  How do you do that ????  Simple - Bloody Carbs !

So I weighed myself this morning, and looked at the scales in utter disgust ! I was going back on the diet today. I usually have an Atkins bar for breakfast which I did.  I walk 5kms most days plus of course all the gardening & housework. So, Victor and I went for a walk and to pick up the Sunday papers and decided to have a coffee in the coffee shop.  Usually, I don't have anything to eat, just a long black and Victor usually has something to eat and I watch and it doesn't concern me. But today, I thought, forget the diet I am going to have my most favourite snack. And had this with my long black.

French Vanilla slice. 

The most salacious, morsel you could ever put in your mouth. I will start my diet tomorrow.

Market to market

Westbury which is approximately 15km or so from our house has a market every 1st & 3rd Saturday.  We had never been to it so we set off this morning.

It is a little market with mostly home grown vegetables, potted plants, crafts and jams and preserves.  Although it was just a few stalls they were interesting and the stall holders quite willing to talk to you about their produce.  I love talking to them, because they have a wealth of information that you really can't glean from books.

We purchased some spring bulbs from a lady, she had over 30 mixed bulbs in bags for $4.  Amazing, I bought two bags and will plant them under the Silver Birch trees.

We then drove through Westbury. It is a quiet sleepy town with wide streets and lots of old trees.  I spotted a sign with Hay for sale.  I have been wanting to get some Hay to put under the Tomato plant that grows along the ground.  It has so many fruits on it at the moment and I am worried that the soil will damage the fruit.

What an interesting exercise that was.  The man selling Hay had a fantastic vege patch.  He was quite happy to answer all my amateur questions and whilst walking around the garden bed I spotted the biggest, the largest Zucchini I have EVER seen in my life !

I have of course created another job for myself because now the car boot is full of residue from the Hay bale. Best go wash and vacuum the car I guesss.

Crab Apples and Roses

Today is a beautiful day. It has been overcast for most of the morning but yet lovely and a warm 23 degrees high today and no wind.  Wind is a big thing in these  parts.

So left to my own devices on my last day (Victor comes home from camping today) I decided to venture into the garden and look at what I can do with the Crab Apples.

Firstly, a bit of background why we have Crab Apples in the garden because  we put 15 plants in. And it is only for their ornamental value.  I couldn't see myself picking these tiny little fruit and ending up with maybe 1/2 cup of Crab Apple Jelly !  But, there was a method to my madness.  They have a beautiful show at the beginning of Spring and they bring all the Bumble Bees into the garden.  Such a beautiful sight.  But that was not my ulterior motive either. I had a horrid fence that I was trying to cover. The driveway alone is over 40 meters long and this fence runs the length of it.  I needed to do something.

My brother in law suggested Crab Apples. The nursery man suggested these trees because I was only thinking of fast growing, ornamental. I was not interested in the fruit. So, Victor with the help of his brother dug the holes and planted the 15 trees.

I was going to espalier  them.  We bought them bare rooted (much cheaper) and as you can see I used, pegs, a cloth string that you can buy from nurseries much like stocking strips, and with nails into the fence.  This was tedious and not a very good way of doing it because I could only nail on the cross bars.  The picture above is when they first started to bloom this spring.

Since then we visited the Hobart Botanical gardens and saw how they had Espaliered some apple trees and they had used stones to bend the branches over. So I used that method when I came home to manipulate the branches. I had to be careful not to break the branches and not to kill the new growth by too much fiddling around with them etc.

Victor and his son put up some fencing wire along the fence.  This made it so much easier to manipulate the brances as well. And I use wooden pegs, and plant wire to tie them to the wire.  I always wonder whether I am doing it right. I have never done this before. But the plants are alive and they are travelling the way I want them to as much as possible, so I am being appeased.  They always have the upper hand !

Note the bending that I have manipulated on the top branch. It was reaching for the sky !

Another tree with the branches moved to the left.

Having originally saying I didn't care about Crab apples themselves. I am sorry now that I cannot make that 1/2 a cup of Crab Apple jelly !

On the left of the driveway we planted climbing roses.  The Crab Apples flowers in Spring. The roses pick up from there and hopefully go all the way through to Winter. We have grown alternate White Iceberg and Dublin Bay Red. We also had poles put up and wire strung so that this climbers could be manipulated across the wires to hide the other fence and also to make a wall of roses. We bought them bare rooted in June last year and they had a good show this year already.

Traumas of changing a name....

So, the excitement of the wedding has subsided, and what is one left with ? A whole lot of agencies that need to be informed of your name change.  I could have chosen to stay with the old one, but that belonged to my ex-husband.  The reason why I didn't change it when I divorced him was for this very same reason and nothing to do with sentiment !

Firstly, agencies will not accept your marriage certificate that the celebrant gives you. Now, that would be too easy. So, I had to fill a form and send away paying an amount of money to get an extract. Wait for the said extract to come via mail. Oh wait, Christmas came in between so what takes 10 working days took close to 4 weeks. In the meantime, my driver's license expired which meant that I had to renew it in my old surname and then pay another dollar figure when I get the extract to re change my name !

So, today, armed with this precious piece of paper I ventured forth to attack the world. First stop Driver's License.  New photo taken (bonus) , fill a form and I was able to pay $29 for another 12 months for the license now it will be valid for two years instead of one and get my name changed at the same time. OR I could pay $9 just for name change and then another $29 next January.  I think I picked the right choice. I was given a temporary paper license, my old license confiscated and it will be in the mail in the next 5 workings days..... those words....

Then off to Launceston to do the rest. First went to Medicare, I had to fill a form, looks like this is becoming a pattern. But the form was very confusing. What is your name ? Do you mean my current name ? I assumed that was what it was since a few questions down it said what is the name you want changed ? Then again - What is your name ? WTF ? I asked the lady, do you want me to fill this bit ? Yes she said, I need your name... Ummmm but it is in the first question right ? Obviously not !   She then tapped away on her little computer, confiscated my Medicare card and gave me this little piece of paper. 'This is your new card number' she said. "Your new one will be in the mail in the next 5 workings days' she says.... Really ???  I said will the new card have both my husband's name and my name on it ? She says 'oh no, you need to fill a form for that to happen!'... Riiiight !

Then the health insurance company. I was in and out in 10 minutes, she didn't take my card, but did say ' you new one will be in the mail in the next 5 working days'... oh well I was getting used to it by now.

And I went on to another few agencies that were in the vicinity. But really ! Why is changing your name such a tedious affair ?

Camping we go

Victor and his two brothers have gone camping.  Originally, I was a bit dubious about Victor going off on his own without me. Yes ! he is a grown man, but after his accident we very rarely have been apart from each other and when we have he has stayed with his elder brother and his wife whilst I went off on a course for my Esoteric Healing. Other than that I have watched over him. Making sure he takes his medication, reminding him to eat and generally motivating him.  Part of the injury to his brain is that there is no motivation.  Part of the injury is also short term memory loss.

So, that is why I was worried. Because of the short term memory problem, I thought he might decide whilst camping to go for a wander in the National Park and forget how to get back. Anyway, he has gone. His older brother understand the enormity of the problem.  He is one of the people who were with me when we first saw him in Emergency after the accident. He visited Victor most days whilst he was in hospital for the three months and he and his wife have been such a support to me I can't even begin to explain.

They left this morning. By the time they left I was actually quite settled that he was going to be OK, and also quite looking forward to some time on my own. Without any chores, or any pressure to be anywhere. However, I think it is going to be a long three days. I miss him already.

Gardening thoughts...

I never really had any thought about how to design this garden. I did try and map out a plan but unless you are a Landscape Architect I am not sure whether you can do it properly.

So we started off with the Weeping Cherry tree that I have always wanted in a garden. Victor wanted the Silver Birch trees. So, the Weeping Cherry was put in the garden in such a way that we can see it from the lounge and also that I can see it from the kitchen.  The Silver Birch trees we got at a reasonable price so we got ten of them. They were placed at the bottom of the garden.  I always wanted Maple Trees so we planted those too.  All of these we did thinking of Autumn colours.  In that same thought we planted a couple of Claret Ash trees and Pear tree, Cherry tree and another couple of trees and also a Golden Ash tree.  We did all this last June which is our Winter. They all lived through the Winter, the frost and budded and and put forth plenty of leaves to show they were alive.

Since then, we have slowly accumulated other ornamental plants whenever we have seen something that we liked the look of, or when a kindly friend or neighbour gave us either plants or cuttings. So far, we haven't lost too many plants.

I wanted a white Magnolia plant. Always loved them so when someone gave me someone for my birthday last year I bought myself a Magnolia plant.   I wanted to be able to see a nice bed from my treatment room, where I do Esoteric Healing and Massage and also teach Infant Massage. 

The Magnolia is in the middle of the bed and I bought 4 roses to put on the corners of that bed.  They are Papa Meilland, Charles De Gaulle, Red Intuition, and Alfred Sisley.  Alfred Sisley went to rose heaven and never did even venture into any kind of living. So in its place we have a Augusta Luis.

Augusta Luis

Charles De Gaulle

Papa Meilland

Red Intuition

Red Intuition is one of the Delbard Painters roses as was Alfred Sisley that went to rose heaven.  There are several in this range I really want to get them all. They all have a main colour with another colour that splashes through it as you see above.

Family meals

Victor has two brothers and they both live here in Tasmania.  We have all 'migrated' from Brisbane.  One brother is married  and has two adult children and the other is a bachelor.  We meet for family dinners at each others houses each week. 

Today it was Basil & Leonie's turn.  They have their daughter and grandchildren living with them as well. So there is always a table of eight if it is just us.  Leonie always cooks a beautiful roast with all the trimmings and we always look forward to it. I am very close to Leonie and their daughter Steph. I am so thankful that they are close by and I have someone close to talk to. 

Before we went there, we needed to go into Launceston to get some of Victor's medication.  He is supposed to be going camping with his brothers next week and I wanted to make sure that he had enough medication to take with him.  I also wanted to go to the Evandale Market, which is probably about 20km away from Launceston and quite an interesting market.

It is high season in Tasmania at the moment and the place was packed with people and therefore, lots of goodies, freshly home baked stuff, home grown produce which included lots of Apricots, Cherries and Strawberries, Raspberries etc.  I wanted to get kilos of them, but with just two of us I had to contain myself and just get a few.  I did fleetingly want to buy a bucket of Apricots so that I could make some jam but at the last minute decided against.  Too much sugar, too much time etc etc. But NOW, whilst writing this, I am regretting it. I love cooking. I should have bought it to make jam. This is what the whole move to Tasmania was about right ? Making jams & chutneys, growing your own veges ?

Anyway, got to Basil & Leonie's, and lunch was gorgeous as usual and I let the dessert get the better of me and had two helpings of sticky date pudding with ice cream.  I will be sorry when I get on the scales tomorrow but......

In the beginning....

When we moved into our new home in April 2011 we were so excited.  We had looked at over 35 homes in the two week period since arriving in Tasmania in January. And we waited to settle with this house until April because it suited both the sellers and us.

It is almost a brand new home, built in 2009. But the garden was all just grass. Just a blank canvas to do as we will and a glorious 3/4 acre of land. This picture is after we had planted a few trees and it was just starting to show some movement since we planted some things.  In the middle is a weeping cherry tree called "Snowflake" .  We bought it as a bare root tree and planted it in June.  This photo was taken sometime in September when the weather was just starting to warm up.

We have planted a vegetable patch.  Currently, there are Silverbeet, onions, shallots, spring onions, capsicums, eggplant, tomatoe, cabbage, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, leeks and beetroot.   I grow the vegetables. Victor thinks it is easier to buy them. It probably is, with the heartache of the previous batch of Cauliflowers being overtaken by some mites and the birds constantly wanting to try the new tomatoes. And yes, it is a bit of work, but I love being able to go out there and pick what I want when I am about to cook.

Victor built the bed for me - larger than I expected but I have managed to fill it with vegetables. Managed to give some vegetables away as well so I am really pleased with it. 

 Some of the harvested vegetables

 makings of an omelette

When I first started off...

Soil being dropped off for the vegetable patch.

It is almost ready!!

The vegetable patch looks quite a bit different now. And I apologise for putting the photos in the wrong order, but I still haven't learnt how to work around the site yet.

It is summer now so I am enjoying the vegetable patch and I am not used to the seasons that Tasmania has. Brisbane is in Queensland and it is quite a tropical climate. Even in the winter it only gets down to about 10 degrees celcius at night.  Where as in Tasmania you are lucky if you reach 10 degrees on a winters day. So it will be interesting to see what I can and cannot grow this winter. 

I lost some beans and tomatoes due to frost in early September.  Since it was getting warmer I assumed it was all going ok but then one night it crept up on us and killed most of the vegetables.  Some like the beetroot was not going to give in and the picture of the beetroot above are very same plants.

How we met.....

In a previous blog I mentioned Victor had an accident and how it has now affected us. I will first start by telling you a little bit about him.

Victor is my husband ( we got married on 7 December 2012).  He is a beautiful, thoughtful and soft hearted man.  He is sensitive to my needs and generous. But it has not always been like this.  Victor and I met in 2005 by chance. We have been together since.  However, because we had both lived on our own for a few years, we were both quite set in our ways. And I was quite determined that no man was ever going to be in my life on a permanent basis - I will write another post about this one day.

What tipped me over the edge with Victor was he was consistent, determined, smart, had a sense of humour and most of all I never ever had to worry about whether he was going to call me or whether I was going to see him again.  Each and every time we met, he would have another date planned and always called me and emailed me each and every day.  Apparently, he has not been like this before, so maybe he had learnt his lessons, I am not sure.....

I remember, when we first started dating he used to come and pick me up from my house. I was determined that this man was not going to mess my children's life, and not get close to me, so as soon as I saw his car pull up in the drive way I would run out to the car and off we went.  Until... one day my daughter who was then all of 20 said to me ' mum every man is not going to hurt you, and every man is not dad and he seems like a nice man - give him a chance'.  I would like to think that she gets her intelligence and common sense from me but she is one smart cookie.  Yes, it struck me, just those few words. And I invited him to our Sunday dinners the next Sunday.

It was a surprise to all when they found out that I had invited him to Sunday dinner.  Sunday was sacred to me. Being a single mother, I hardly had time to breathe, leave alone sit around and have quality time with my two precious children.  And they were growing up fast and I would hardly see them during the week, with their social activities. So, Sunday was a day that we all had to be home by 4pm.  I would cook a beautiful dinner, always new receipes with ingredients that sometimes we couldn't afford and sit down, with no TV and no distractions and have a lovely meal.  The children were allowed to invite a guest if they so wished but the rules still stood.  I never invited anyone ever before, because I just wanted to spend time with the kids. But here was Victor at Sunday dinner.

I can't tell you what I cooked that night but I love cooking and it must have been alright. Since then for the next few months he was not only a frequent diner at our Sunday dinners but a frequent diner at most of our evening meals.

The kids seemed to like him although my son who was very very protective of me after my last relationship was not so keen although he was never ever rude to Victor, there was always that barrier. I used to think it was the Alpha male thing going on.

Shortly afterwards we moved in together and the following year I gave up my home and moved in with Victor.  My son rented the house that I was living in and my daughter had moved in with her boyfriend.

The things I like about Victor is his sense of confidence. His sense of self worth and his will power. Nothing seems to shake him. He is able to shrug his shoulders and get on with life whatever it dishes out to him.  He went to boarding school when he was 5 in Africa so I guess that breeds the way he lives.

Initially this used to be disconcerting to me. He was not gushy, and I had to learn that you didn't need flowery words to show someone that you love them.  I used to feel that he wouldn't care if I wasn't around. But later found, that he had learnt at a young age, that you must never ever show your feelings to anyone which then lets them know how vulnerable you are. I am a person who wears my heart on my sleeve - it was different. A very smart lady once told me. You need to see what he does for you rather than what he 'says' to you to know whether he loves you.  Little things like making cups of tea, taking the garbage out without being asked it is all the little things you need to look at rather than look for flowery words that could very well be empty words' Smart woman as I said, because I saw him in whole different light. A man who did hundreds of little things for me, to show me he loved me the only way he knew how. I still told him I loved him, I still gushed - because I was not going to change me, but there you go, opposites attract.

Move to Tasmania

We moved to Tasmania in January 2010.  Almost 12 whole months here now.  We searched for days and days for a house that would suit us.  Both for Victor's health but also for all the reasons why we moved to Tasmania from Brisbane. 

Tasmania is a state of Australia but it is an island off the mainland of Australia. There is a ferry that can bring you across from Melbourne, Victoria or one can fly.  We chose to take the ferry so that we could also bring our car with us. 

We left on the 22nd of January 2010.  It was an easy decision for Victor because he always hankered about moving here and told me about this almost the instant we met - well maybe a few dates later !  But for me, it was a hard decision.  I was leaving my two kids who were my world, leaving a job that I had worked hard to get ahead which in turn was my security and all my friends and networking that I had worked hard to establish in the 15 or so years I had lived in Brisbane. 

It is not that I had not lived in other parts of Australia and for that matter in other parts of the world. But as one gets older and as one keeps setting down roots, I think you kind of want to stick to what you know. But, the decision was taken out of my hands after Victor's accident. So, we packed (and read I packed) and set off.  Our goods were picked up and moved over the prior week so it was just us finalising everything and then driving off on the 22nd.  

I remember waking up that morning - we were staying with my daughter and her fiancé that last week, and feeling such a sense of loss that I was going to be leaving my children. Yes, they were old enough (25yrs and 23yrs) but as a mother they were still my babies. 

I kissed my daughter good bye that morning and I thought my heart was going to break.  But this is a decision I had made for my future.  Kids as much as you love them, adore them and do anything for them including lay down your life for them, they will always do what they need to do, when they need to do it.  So IF I had decided to leave Victor because I did not move to Tasmania I believe I would have ended up living rather a lonely life. My life is with Victor and I am very happy that I have made my choice and my two children have made theirs.  Still doesn't take away from the fact that my heart was breaking and hot tears were running down my cheeks as I drove away that morning. 

I had a drive of over 1700km to get to Melbourne where we would then catch the ferry across to Devonport, Tasmania. I was the only driver. Since Victor's accident he is not allowed to drive. I was determined to break the back of this drive and do at least 1000km the first day.  We had set of about 5am in the morning. I figured I would drive for 12 hours with plenty of stops for food and stretching and try and reach Sydney on the first night. The drive was uneventful although several times during the day I was crying.  Victor who is a very stoic man who had been to boarding school since he was 5 years old and therefore quite self sufficient could not quite get what I was going through. 

The first night although I didn't reach my target of 1000km, I did 983km in 12 hours and 26 minutes and reached Campbelltown in New South Wales, which is past Sydney. My friends back home were sitting on pins worried about my driving on my own without any help and that we had not stopped sooner. I also hadn't realised that Victor was feeling unwell.  His medication had been increased just prior to our leaving and it was only when we stopped for the night I realised that his words were slurring and he really couldn't walk properly. Still, we walked to the restaurant for dinner that night.  The next morning we had an almighty argument because he wanted to reduce his medication that he was taking for his seizures because that was what was making him unwell.  All I could see was that he was going to get a seizure whilst we were on the highway and I wouldn't be able to stop the car.  All he could see was that it was making him unwell (understandable) and he didn't like feeling that way.  We could not come to a compromise. At this point his medication had increased from 300mg to 330mg to 360mg. He decided he was going back to 300mg and that was that. And as much as I tried to tell him to just go back to 330mg he was not going to listen!  Need I say he is a stubborn man ? So am I, so you can imagine how it went. 

We left around 9am that morning from Campbelltown, and reached Melbourne that evening.  We were going to have a few days with Victor's son and family before we set off on the last leg of our journey, our adventure, our future and our dream.  We left Melbourne on the 27th of January, the day after Australia day which is the 26th of January. We travelled on the day ferry which only operates during peak times. Normally, the ferry only travels each way at night and they have two ferries working all the time.

We arrived at Devonport

Once off the ferry and all quarantine cleared we still had  70 odd kilometers to reach Victor's brothers home in Mole Creek, Tasmania. We were going to stay with him until we found and bought a home. 

It was a balmy night, the days are long in the summer here unlike Brisbane, they have day light saving, and they have twilight which you don't get in Brisbane. So although I was driving after 8pm there was plenty of light and we reached our destination exhausted and looking forward to the next part of our journey.  Looking for houses !

New thoughts for 2012

My thought over the last few days is that I am going to put a concerted effort into blogging each day or every few days..  Not only for myself so I can keep an account of what goeson in my day but also, maybe for my friends and family to keep up with what I am doing all the way here in Tasmania if and when they want to.

So, to start with these last few days in the New Year have been eventful in a rather boring way.  We had family stay over for X'mas and they all left on the 1st January.  It is funny how one gets used to solitude and just catering for just one other person in the household.

I have been used to running a household of teenagers and working full time as a single parent.  So, those of you who have been sole parents, know how hard it is to hold down a full time job, and run a household and also to keep your sanity in a household with teenagers.  Albeit just two ( my daughter and my son) it was 100 miles an hour.  I didn't like them going on public transport too much, so drove them back and forth to most places, including picking them up from parties at all hours in the night.

So, I really couldn't understand why I was so exhausted when the visitors left on the 1st ! Well, as I indicated before we do enjoy solitude here, hence we don't mingle with too many people on a regular basis, therefore, don't seem to get the common illness that one does when one is in a larger city mingling with the odd bods in buses and trains who sneeze and cough around you.  However, when our visitors were here we had the opportunity of driving to Hobart.  Which is approximately 250km away from where we live and was able to attend Hobart's Taste Festival which is held once a year.

I was most excited that we were going to be able to attend the event for a few reasons.  I love cooking and all things food. I love to learn new ways of doing things with food and new ideas on how to present and mix different spices together and drove down there with great expectations.  Because it is such a huge event here you can imagine the hundreds of people who were attending the 3 day or so event.  Well we mingled all right and me ending up with the flu which is the reason why I felt so tired on the 1st !

The Taste Festival was a bit of a flop for me.  What was I expecting ? I was expecting cooking demonstrations, hints and tricks to cook with.  To be able to try out various exotic dishes.  In their defence I have to say, that if you are interested in Wineries it was a great spot. One could easily get drunk on just the tastings. I don't drink.  Haven't drunk for a couple of reasons.  Because of my Esoteric healing work I cant drink, it also happened that around the same time that I started my healing work, that Victor had his accident on his bicycle and got an Acquired Brain Injury (ABI).  This was in 2009.  He has been advised not to drink any alcohol since then.  (I will blog about this another day) so the Taste Festival was no good in that regard for us.  On the other hand when we went to check out the food, the noise and chaos there was too much for Victor to bear and was stressing him out, so we rushed through the shed and just picked up fish and chips of all things and went outside where there was lesser of a chaos !  But, I did have people sneezing beside me left, right and centre !!!

We have had a few nice days weatherwise back home. Tasmanian weather is very unreliable and unpredictable.  It could be beautiful when you wake up in the morning and on an absolute dime it would take a turn and freeze or rain or both ! So with the nice weather Victor and I both have been working in the garden.  We had neglected the garden during the Xmas - New Year period entertaining and generally enjoying our visitors and the celebratory period. So it was a hard slog. And of course I was on a go slow because I was getting the flu !  Feeling more like myself a bit today but I think I will attack the house in the next few days..